When I give readings I always tell people I don’t do pasts or futures. They look at me quizzically. And if they want me to tell them they were Cleopatra– in short shrift – I tell them that the role has already been taken–by me. As disappointment climbs over their faces, I look at them and say, honey, let’s get real now. You’d like to be Cleopatra because you feel you have to be somebody famous to make yourself feel better in this moment. Well, I’m going to show you how to feel better by truly being in the moment, in the here and now.
And that’s what my readings are about. It’s a time and place where two people can get very real with each other and observe a transformation together. When I read for somebody it feels like that old Biblical truth, “When two people are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” When someone witnesses with compassion your sometimes crazy thoughts, fearfully spoken desires or true aspirations, you then have the opportunity to create new thoughts and accompanying emotions. The great enlightenment that we seek is to consciously make new choices.
I sometimes surprise at the fact that not all the great actors and actresses are gainfully employed in the movies. I see them all the time in my readings. We have such a great talent of masquerade, hide and showmanship. I sometimes see myself as an anthropologist on a dig helping to unearth this wonderful jewel that is encased in a dark space. Admittedly, it is no small skill to skillfully scrape off the coverings. Sometimes it is necessary to show something hidden for many years that could possibly hinder the journey to the source. I have found that not everyone is ready to be uncovered, already if they say so, and one must stop at the first inner. That’s okay with me. I keep grateful that the journey has begun.
Many years ago a woman came to see me. When she was 20 her husband and she had a child who died from sudden death syndrome. Not uncommonly, they had separated and she had an affair with another man. When she and her first husband reconciled, she found herself pregnant with the other man’s child. To return to him, she felt it necessary to abort the child and for 20 years never told anyone of either the affair or the abortion, carrying an intense guilt. When she walked into my office for her appointment, much to my own surprise, the first thing that I said was, “When did you have the abortion.”? I think we both freaked. However, I told her that I thought the only reason that I knew this fact was because God or her spirit wanted her to be free. Breaking down and bowing under the burden she had carried for so many years, she at last renounced the guilt. She has written to me many times on the anniversary of that time to express her gratitude.
A similar thing had happened to me years before as I confessed to some apparent stranger something I had carried in my own psyche. I was getting some glass cut for a holy space in my home and went to a store called A Touch of Glass. It was very exceptional since it was not my custom to unveil my problems to strangers. But I felt something special about this woman behind the counter, a kind of emptiness and openness. I found myself telling her my story, and as I did that, I was able to suddenly see, as if looking down a long tunnel, the frightened person I had been at that time and was able to finally embrace myself with compassion instead of the self hate I had carried. Two weeks later I went back to thank her and I saw that the place was boarded up. Going next door to ask the store owner what had happened to the store, she looked at me quizzically and said, That place hasn’t been rented for years. I left in amazement and gratitude, concluding that a miracle had happened along the way to creating that special space in my home.
I can’t count on or rely upon my psychic gift; it’s not something that happens all the time easily.I’m grateful for that because I feel like a miracle, it is God given and in the moment also. Because of my past experience, it seems to occur more freely with those who are open and truly want to change. This could be because of the timing, or if one believes in karma as habituation, that they are ready to lay down a repetitious burden in their lives.
I tell people I am not a fortuneteller who is going to give a quick answer to whether they should sell their condo or meet the man or woman of their dreams. I suggest that they ask themselves whether they will be the man or woman of their own dreams. And sometimes what they are willing to give up now to receive the gift. There’s some similarity to cleaning out your closet. Isn’t it uncanny when you clean out your closet that new clothes seem to always appear. I think it’s the same when you invite somebody new into your life. Something needs to be cleaned out, renounced or cheerfully discarded. Because you are inviting newness into your life. Of course, I know that some people go to Good Will or other recycled places and I think that’s good for clothes, but not for people. Don’t recycle, recreate.
A relationship from an enlightened point of view is a gift. It ultimately requires sacrifice, compromise and great love. Initially many of us are just hoping for that magical person who will finally love and accept us just as we do, not knowing that it is ourselves who must do that for ourselves. So I ask them during the reading, “Are you the woman of your dreams” Or let’s ask what you need to do to become your ideal so that you have a greater chance of attracting that reflection. I once counseled a woman who took that advice so to heart that she ultimately wound up as a celibate renunciate in a monastery, finally realizing what she was searching for didn’t appear to have a human embodiment and turned to Christ as her lover, similar to St.Theresa.
There is a dramatical change going on now. Many of us are casting off our chains, not wanting to be bound by old karma or conditioning. And sometimes we need somebody to help us see how we are unconsciously repeating the same painful pattern over and over with the same unfortunate circumstances.
I sometimes initially ask people to talk to me about themselves, not so that I will get a leg up in relating to them, but for them to see how by their speech they are nevertheless bound. And when you point out to them how they continue to entrap themselves, it is amazing to me that there is a light that literally begins to glow inside them, enabling them to finally see where they are stuck.
One doesn’t necessarily need the gift of some supernatural awareness, but sometimes just somebody to be observe to their travails, bringing to them compassion, non-judgment and awareness. And when that person walks out of that prison that they have been residing in for years, it becomes a time to rejoice. Hosanna, Hosanna.