Funniest Pond Stories-Part 1, May 2004

Get ready for some gut-wrenching, laugh out loud hilarious pond

stories from all over the world…

(Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!)

We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loud

stories sent in by some of you. Here we’re going to highlight

some of the funniest stories for you to read.

We had entries from all over the place (Inluding one all the way

from THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest – I

had a really hard time deciding on one ‘funniest’ story, but

here’s a fleeting rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies

(?) all taking the Nestea drop right into the water, a hungry

KOI nibbling in dangerous territory, a missing flip flop, an

electrifying experience for grandma, fun for the whole family,

fish frape, and flying fish to boot!

First, let’s start with this very funny story about ‘Smokey’ –

who seemingly thinks he can walk on water. This was sent in by

Mike Lachance from Maryland:

Funny Pond Story #1

“I wish I had a photo to proportion of this very true story but any

ponder with cats has likely had the same experience at some time

or another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying the second

season of my first pond (I have now built four as I’ve moved

around), one of our cats, “Smokey”, who was a natural hunter in

her chief, saw a mockingbird alight on a lilly pad to get a drink

of water. Well, old “Smokester” slowly crept out from under some

day lillies and made a spectacular jump with all four paws

majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that

intruding bird.

It is not as though she had not already had a associate of

encounters with the water but that day the feathered treat must

have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and I

were there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond.

Of course, the bird was out of the way in plenty of time and I

swear that that cat walked on her toes the five feet it took her

to get out of the water! And of course, after removing herself

from the water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift

each leg, shake off the water and as much as say “I meant to do

that, you know”.

Smokey often spent time at the pond later, using her tail to

attract the fish (she would put it in the water and swish it

around and the fish would come up to analyze it. She never did

catch one). She also loved to sit at the waterfall and enjoy the

water moving past her. So that is my funny pond story.

=== Funny Pond Story #2

“Dear all at McArthur,

My funniest pond story is about my late aunt, who introduced me

to the joy of backyard ponds. Donna had a large koi pond in her

backyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attention

to. As happens with most ponds, spring brought some uninvited

guests…in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on the

pond, checking the cantankerous pump and filter system, and using

her net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in.

My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work and

offering her expert opinion on how to proceed. They were amazed

at the number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not too

happy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side of

the pond that she wanted to get out…something was not quite

right about the way he was swimming, and she pointed him out to

Grandma. “Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!” Grandma

was a bit skeptical…frogs doing the back stroke were a

occurrence that she was unfamiliar with.

She advised that this misfit should be removed closest. Don’t

want to give the other little froggies strange ideas. Donna made

several attempts at scooping the miscreant up with her net, but

he was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up your

shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strange

swimming technique became painfully obvious as soon as Donna

reached his immediate vicinity….a faulty under water light had

shorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn’t need her electric

rollers for a few days after that!”

Enecia Sabroff

Funny Pond Story #3

“Hello—-My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this time

he was 8 weeks old. My husband also bought two almost, semi-tame

rabbits to help aim the puppy to track rabbits. At this time I

only had one pond that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband put

one of the rabbits out to platy with the puppy, the rabbit was

teasing the puppy, running a little ways then jumping over his

head, then the rabbit decided he didn’t want to play anymore so

he started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into the

pond. We were thinking that Bear would go around the pond to

the other side and continue chasing the bunny, but Bear just dove

right in, he was so little though that he had to be rescued from

the small backyard pond. My husband’s only response was “he’s

going to be a good rabbit dog!” Well, thanks for listening to

my story. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio

Funny Pond Story #4

“A story to proportion…

Two years ago I started with the crazy idea of building a small

pond with koi fishes. After a lot of working I finally built it,

and decorated it with all sort of plants. One day… mi female

cat “Manchita” went to the pond to examine this new

construction. She went to the border, jumped on a flat stone and

starter to drink water. To her big surprise one of the fishes ,

possibly thinking that the white nose of my cat was food, jumped

out of the water, trying to eat it.. Can you imagine the

surprise of the cat ? I believe that the fish was also quite

impressed with the experience. My cat almost fell into the pond ,

.. and from then on she never went around the pond again. She

used to watch the pond from my dorm, located in the second floor

and just across the pond. Unfortunately I did not take a picture

of this “accident”. I am sending you a pictute of this first

pond; in the meantime I did build another, larger one.

Unfortunately “Manchita” is not around any more, she passed away

a few month ago, from old age.. This story happened in Valdivia,

a city located in the south of Chile. In this country winter is

approaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees an the

plants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while…”

Maria Fresard

==

Funny Pond Story #5

“I have two ponds. An upper and lower pond. The upper pond is fed

by a waterfall with the source being the lower pond (pushed by a

pump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow of the upper pond

that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Last

summer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream

going dry near my home. I put them in the lower pond. This spring

I was sitting in my kitchen and could see something flopping on

my water fall. The trout had migrated up the overflow tube and

were trying to swim further upstream via the water falls. No so

funny but does show the strength of character. Just a few weeks ago,

Egrets found the pond and the fish.

There is nothing left to migrate at this time. Not so funny but

does an Egret taste anything like a turkey when cooked?”

Tom Gegenheimer

==

Funny Pond Story #6

“We have only had a pond for a short time … details can be seen

at http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/

The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who took

zero safety precautions when constructing the pond.

Watching guys shovelling concrete from a lorry and spreading it

across the bottom of the pond … when the footwear they had was

just ‘flip-flops’ resulted in great entertainment …. especially

when. several times, the flip flops came off and were lost in the

cement somewhere (ultimately found while they walked around bare

footed) …. pictures at

http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg

http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03070.jpg

http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03060.jpg

Strangely it was only the guys …. the women laborers all wore

Wellington boots …. maybe this reflects on which of the sexes

is really the most sensible?” Regards, Chris

==

Funny Pond Story #7

“I am building a pond at this time and I was in the time of action of

building a waterfall in the corner of a fence. The waterfall is

about 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I thought I was finishing up

the waterfall with some flat rock on the very top. So I

straddeled thewaterfall with my knees on the second ledge and set

the flat rock on top. When I did this the whole waterfall fell

down because I build it on blocks and not a pile of dirt.

When it fell one big rock caught my foot and I slide down the

fall and fell backwards into the pond going all the way under and

had a associate of big rocks come down on me. Meanwhile my wife is

laughing her butt of at me and I asked her to help me out she

slipped on the flat wet rock that surrounded the ponds edge and

half way fell in with me.

Now my two boys were playing in the yard they are 5 and 3 and saw

this happen to us and they thought it was time to got swimming so

guess who jumped into the pond with us, the boys. Nothing like

having the whole family in on the pond. We laughed for awhile but

then I had to rebuild the whole waterfall again and this time I

put the top rocks on from the side.”

Robert H Coppa Jr.

==

Funny Pond Story #8

I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math and

spent a great deal of time working with more experienced

ponders. Somehow when it was all said and done my little 300

gallon pond ended up being 810 gallons and come to find out it

was however another one of my mathematical errors. Guess I should

have paid more attention in that college level math class

required for my Associates, right.

We got the pond all up and running but because of the

miscalculation we now needed a bigger pump to satisfy the waterfall

so I went to our local water garden supplier and asked which one

to get. Budget was a concern so it was recommended that we got a

¾ HP submersible pump that cycles 44 gallons a minuet. It was

only $70 in comparison to the $170 one that was its comparative

different so… we went that route. $70 dollars later we had a

working pond with a beautiful waterfall! I was so excited I could

hardly wait to get fish.

Again budget was a concern so we went to the local pet store and

picked up $50 dollars worth of fish, about 8 fish. 4 large gold

Koi, some yellow and a blue Koi. The color excited me so much I

never considered what would happen when the fish became

comfortable in their new home. The swam around investigating for

a day or two then started to come up missing. I had it figured

that they were hiding or that a cat was getting fed to well but I

never figured it was something I could have done. It was the

pump… the intake valve on the pump was to large and the fish were

getting to close and being sucked into the pump though the motor

pushed down the hose into my waterfall.

While this is not a funny story, I must have cried for 3 days, I

wanted to proportion it because this is the one thing I never read

anything about in all the 6 weeks of reading I did on the web. I

can chuckle about it now with a ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think

of that’ thought.

Had I known this was possible I would have done something to

prevent it by caging in my pump or spending the additional $100 to

get the right kind of pump.

Hope someone else can save a Koi by my blending experience.

Thanks,

New to ponds and already thinking of making it fish free!” Sheri

Furr

==

Well that’s it for this year’s ‘Funniest Pond Stories’… Hope

you enjoyed them as much as I did!

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